Dizzy

The cliche is true, time moves too fast. Faster and faster as you get older. Faster and faster when life is busier.

Lately I feel like I can hardly catch my breath between the rapid movement of time, and the busy-ness of it all.

Bryan and I have been in Portland for just over a year, thirteen months. It's hard to look back on it and measure our time. Sure, we've had great times. Most definitely we've accomplished a lot. At the heart of it all, we're happy and pursuing our dreams. But how do I make sense of the blur I see when I look back?

We arrived in July and had a wonderful vacation-filled month of living in a furnished home, backyard BBQs, Portland exploration, a visit to Denver, and some time at the lake in Idaho. In less than a month we found our dream rental, bought a bed and a couch, and moved.

August was filled with intense job-searching for me, settling in for both of us, a bit of unpacking, a lot of shopping at Target, and the incredibly humbling experience of applying for a car loan. Our love of a car without any trace of cochroaches made it all worthwhile.

September brought the beginning of fall, absolutely gorgeous colors, and the start of my tiny garden. Between job applications and resume revisions, I walked our neighborhood daily. A daily challenge to enjoy life to the fullest while trying not to spend much money. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, money makes for fun.

In October I made my first ever apple pie - a yummy success! We visited a pumpkin patch - my pumpkin later was stolen (jerks!). And we went back to Hawaii for a week, fondly reflecting on the amazing friends we have but realizing we've been there and done that as far as beach, ocean, and island perfection go.

November was my last month of freedom. So hard to enjoy it when I felt desperate for a *real* job. I celebrated my birthday with new friends - nervous and excited that people were willing to celebrate with me. We travelled to Bend for the first time and fell in love. And I started two part time jobs (let's pretend I didn't, ok?) and one full time job (thank god! there are good jobs out there, I'm not destined to be miserable at work!). As if it didn't feel busy already, life was about to move at warp speed...

December was a flurry of truly cold weather, my new job, daily commutes on the bus, winter boot shopping (I can be a bit obsessive about boots), CHRISTMAS TREE cutting hooray! We travelled to Spokane for Christmas and then my parents came to Portland for New Years. We ran around the block with suitcases to confirm travel was in our future. Be careful what you wish for...

January was bitter cold but life started to settle down a bit. I saw my savings account settle, and I started to look towards our future.

February was the month of friends. Friends from Hawaii came to us for a ski weekend in Bend - holy crap five years in Hawaii made me a terrible skier! And I visited my previous life with a short trip to San Francisco with two of my closest friends. I also recall a trip to Ikea for a few odds and ends to decorate our house a bit. And I finally hung some pictures on the walls...

In March everything changed. EVERYTHING. We got booted from our house - with more tension than is ever needed. I spent three straight weeks searching for a new rental (guess what? there weren't too many options we really liked, bring on the stress!) and coordinating movers. We took a weekend at the coast for Bryan's birthday and solidified our love for Manzanita.

Early April brought some pleasant and not so pleasant surprises... we're pregnant! Yup, a baby in my belly. And we can hear every movement from our upstairs neighbors. How did we get to be adults so quickly but be living in an environment that feels like we should be 18?

May and June were a blur of first trimester exhaustion and emotions (both of them did not help with my utter irritation at our neighbor's noise!). And this must have been when our suitcase-running clicked into gear... we travelled to San Diego, to Seattle, the San Juan Islands, and Denver. Such an incredible treat to be able to easily visit friends and family! This is why we moved back to the mainland.

July feels like just yesterday and included even more travel to the coast and to San Francisco. Yay travel! My tummy also suddenly grew. Yay baby!

And here we are in August. Thank god for my job. Thank god for Bryan. Thank goodness for this baby always keeping me company. I have absolutely no idea what's in store for our future... will we continue living in this paper-thin-walls home? Will we ever be able to buy a home? Will Bryan continue to work from home? How would that work with a tiny baby? Will we ever have a quiet weekend at home without guests or travel? Will we find true friends? Will a baby necessitate a second car?

Well now, this post didn't necessarily go the way I thought it would. Hmmm... Here's to our future, however it goes. I'll raise a glass of my sparkling water and remind myself that we are lucky, blessed, and totally empowered to make our future be our own.