Tired Tube of Toothpaste

This post might be a bit controversial. It might make you hate me a bit. Let's talk about that.

I had a baby six months ago. I am very blessed with skinny genetics and pretty healthy eating habits. I also happen to be breastfeeding. All of these three things combined, topped with a good amount of stress, have given me a relatively skinny postpartum body.

Here's the thing. Or two things.

1. Some women hate me for this. They really do. They tell me! "You just had a baby? I hate you!" Okay, okay they probably don't hate me. But man, are they interested in my body.  It is totally unnerving. For one thing, they don't know what's under my clothes (see #2 below). And, it makes me feel bad. I started to feel guilty. That I got some golden ticket in life and will never live the life of a "real" woman. Which is absolutely silly. Because even though I'm happy with my body shape, I look in the mirror and am shocked by the old saggy face looking back at me. I see women with glowing skin and shiny hair and have the same pangs of jealousy that cause some women to "hate" me. We all want to change some part of us.

2. You don't know what's under these clothes. Oh boy, you don't. And hey, you won't. I don't share my under-clothes with the internet. The other night I was out with mom friends and one new mommy described her body as a tube of toothpaste - someone had grabbed it around the middle and everything got squished to the top. YES! Where did my hips go? Or my butt? And what's this under my ribcage? Not to mention the boobs. But I know those are fleeting.

I am one tired looking tube of toothpaste. If I had any extra energy I'd try to get the toothpaste distributed back through the tube. In time, in time...